F i c t i o n - ette

What

2009-04-14T23:32:00.000-07:00

When I was a little girl

I heard the stories about all the princes

and the knights in shining armor

who knew it'd be this way.

Mommy never told me how it really is

Mommy never told me what heartbreak was

All I knew is I was waiting for that charming

something

I knew he was coming for me

My knight, my prince, my everything

I remember dreaming about being swept away

to a castle, in a high high tower, hidden away

waiting for that true love's kiss

but

Mommy never told me how it really is

Mommy never told me what heartbreak was

Dreamin' bout that perfect boy, who'll sweep you off your feet

but he's never what you expect

I've met a lot of prince charmings and knights

I've had a lot of kisses and a lot of tears

because

Mommy never told me how it really is

Mommy never told me what heartbreak was

And now I know that love is tough, prince charmings

aren't so charming and knights can do what any other man can

but I know now that love is tough and Mommy told me

it was worth it, every second, every moment

Mommy never told me it would be the person you least expect

Mommy never told me how much you'd cry

Mommy never told me about the fights and the shoutin

But now that I've seen the prince charmings and the knights

I can see you clearly, you're the one for me

You're not what I saw as a little girl but you're the one

who swept me off my feet, made me feel like your princess

and took me to your castle and slipped that ring on my finger

cause

Mommy never told me how wonderful it really is

Mommy never told me what its like to find your true love

Sometimes

2009-04-07T00:28:00.001-07:00

There is that in between, go between -
When you doubt.
In between emotions, go between actions.
Unsure of what is to come -
What you want, what he wants.
There is that feeling of loss, of gaining -
Sometimes. Sometimes is what you thonk.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Fading

2009-03-17T00:44:00.000-07:00

When you're young and you hope,
You can't help but let it all go.
When you're full of faith - and dreams,
And you want it so bad,
You trust in nothing but your insides
And sometimes it comes out just the way you wanted.
But when you're older and you see,
You can't help but let it all go.
You're faith and your dreams,
You can't believe you wanted all of that.
And its all fading,
Everything you wanted.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Sometimes

2009-02-21T01:17:00.001-08:00

Its like you want to end it.
Tumbling, scarring, dying -
In a way you had never imagined.
You want it, say goodbye.
Actually don't do that, end it -
Fast. Suprise. Quick. Unforgettable.
Make him care. Make it real.
Make it true.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Numb

2009-02-10T09:48:00.001-08:00

My surroundings mean nothing, to me they are bleak - dull - empty.
I am an empty shell, awaiting fate- but she passes by.
My surroundings envelope me, I am nothing and worthless.
A monstrosity passes by, I sit watching it. Bloodthirsty it passes me - at least it has a form, a shape... A purpose.
My surroundings change, as do I. But again, they are nothing, as am I.
A feeling passes. Feeling? What is that. I am numb, there is no such thing -
I am what everyone needs. It interrupts me.
The feeling does not pass me by, it picks me up and this time I do not change I am something else.
I am something I have never been before.
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

Test

2008-12-10T20:08:00.001-08:00

Just testing out e-mailing a blog post from my new phone!
Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network

newborn

2008-11-17T11:18:00.001-08:00

Just to imagine that little moment, that gasp and that pull could create something so new, so amazing.

The belly swells and the love grows for that little heart that beats within you, you relish in the sweetness.

Swelling infinitely is not your size but your love, you know within your heart that whoever is there is your one and only love;

crying, wailing, newborn the sweetness bursts into life knowing you're there.

what a feeling

2008-11-06T23:13:00.001-08:00

There's always that sense of relief, maybe it won't happen again -

maybe it was just one last time, I won't fall this time.

And then you feel it happening, stronger than the last time -

sweeter than the first and second, every moment.

A touch is euphoric, reminds me of caramel with its smooth sweetness -

a kiss, a caress, a hug, a tap - all so sweet, so dreamlike.

And I beg to not fall - but its so different, so good -

there is innocence in us and the feelings are so genuine.

Genuine is a word that doesn't often apply, but you make it so,

you are the sweetness in my belly - the colour in my eyes.

There's that new sense of relief, maybe it won't happen again -

because this is all that I need to happen.

peels

2008-01-24T22:28:00.001-08:00

when you close your eyes.
and fall into the deep land of slumber,
imagine what instead you could be doing.
dancing, writing, drawing.
eating, exercising, loving.
so much is possible with out slumber,
so much is impossible with slumber.
closing your eyes
is a waste
of time.

doustillthinkofme?

2008-01-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

just hating myself for this -- hating it.
losing sleep and thoughts, can't stop --
tried to make the fight worth it -- was it?
I don't know; I don't know -- can we.
Be?
Again?
hating losing you -- hating losing us.
I can't stand it. Tried to make the fight --
fought and stood up for us -- can't stand it.
can we be -- again?
someday?

pa!n

2007-09-23T19:40:00.001-07:00

No one deserves this pain.

Devastated, swallow those butterflies &

Feel that shattered heart. Broken

just as glass. Feel the pain of betrayal,

repeatedly stabbed in the back. Destroyed

by simple actions and idiotic excuses.

Sin and sin again, love and never find

love again.

Inexplicably unacceptable,

Terribly tragic

Of all the feelings you could extract

heart pains and tears

What happened to that smile &

those simple words, notions

Stupid mistakes, cost everything &

I’m gone.

Hark/

2007-09-22T00:41:00.000-07:00

Hark/ I hear angels, or bells...
that is the screaming in my head.
The bells that toll from your scent...
the scent of man, of my love... my sweet.

Hark/ I hear nothing but silence... but,
our hearts as they beat. I feel. A miracle
of our bare skin on each other's...

Hark/ I feel nothing but unexplainable.
Unbelievable. Belonging. Love. Lust. Love.
It must be... I feel it. I am it. With you.

Hark/ That sound... utter silence,
but yet I can hear the world, falling.
Crashing around me. I feel you pulled,
from me. We are no longer one but two.

Separate-- pupil and teacher.

2007-07-11T10:03:00.000-07:00

If I was not there
To witness
‘Oh the sight! The amazing feat!’I would never
have believed
A tale, taller than most.
The waving crooks offurry arms
the tall myth ofa brilliant bear.
Rhythmic waves of dark fur and muscles.
I believe, there were twoothers there.
tutoring, teaching the furry mass of myth.
one was round, palewith a great nose,
the other rolling eyes and skinny like,
a newborn tree.

whew.

2007-05-27T13:36:00.001-07:00

Complications contemplation.
Wandering wonderings over
a simple mistake not a mistake.
Maybe fate, possible for that to exist?
Is this real or is this real?
Contemplate compete compute.
Make some sense and realize
there are lies and then are lies.
Truths speak nothings while
lies shout and drown you in.
Real its coming where am I going
See in yourself yourself and in
yourself find the one you are.
Fate possible? Truth possible?
Apathetic decisions while the world
spins turns makes merry go rounds.
Love can't touch this can't feel this.
Who are you who am I can we be?
Touch but untouched far but so close.
Push it, separate it, wall us in wall us out.
See you later see you again soon.

HARD

2007-05-02T21:47:00.002-07:00

So hard just want a touch
that warmth, security.
Can see why, time needs
to do its work on you.
Just one last glance,
before its my heart, gone.
Said it before
I understand.
Don't underestimate it.
Relax, let it wash over.
Time, thats all
we need.

Seen you.

2007-05-02T21:47:00.001-07:00

When the cold sweeps across,
Magnifying dots of liquid with that
cool cool awfully wet feeling.
There is no light light, but I feel
always light, just happy, content.
Sometimes sometimes you can't
be what you're always, sweet, happy.
Get like this too you know, turned
upside down going nowhere.
Feels like nothing, barely there,
touched but untouched can't stand it.
Cold sweeps across, shivers in my gut.

Ask all you want.

2007-04-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

Its just a feeling.
I've felt this before,
but rarely beating.
As fast as now.

I wonder how it
happened, hitting me
like a wall, a fit.
Unexpected swat.

You're driving me,
up and down.
Should escape see,
but you've got it.

s

2007-04-23T22:02:00.000-07:00

Its so hard
to be so close
and never
be so far.
Can't stand
this way,
never thought
this feeling
would wash
me over.
Overwhelmed
but so happy
I can't be away
but I have to
stay away.

Word Vomits

2007-04-12T22:57:00.001-07:00

A little pathetic, just a touch needy.
Doesn't realize how much she has.
Love is all one wants, achieving this
How is it possible when it seems all
So. Hopeless.
Clumsy words, sweaty palms red
cheeks loud laughs. Nothing can be
said how it feels to be happy. To
know who's there and who is really
not. Going to be honest, Doesn't
get much better than I. Are you aware
of what you could have, of what you
do have?
Turn away and say it. I'm waiting here.
Always a friend or someone to lean on.
Sometimes its like under appreciation
but maybe its over reading, over analyzing
losing your grip.
Get over it stop spilling, just the words won't
stop. The feelings need to be expressed.
Self expression, self preservation selfishness.
I'll admit it insensitive and a bit too blunt
or too funny? Humor has turned from something
laughable to something suicidal, terrible,
bully. All in good fun.
I must say though, loyalty, honesty and
quite empathetic. And always there for whoever
it is. Really. Really. No one takes the offer of
a great friend though. Hope someone will realize.

Nameless

2007-04-04T21:30:00.000-07:00

Moonlight becomes
you,
Darling let it eat,
you.
Devour your tiny
soul,
Give it everything,
your all.
There is no chance,
of escape,
Feel the fear around
you,
Bathe in it, your senses
heightened.
Feral, stealthy, stalks
in the moonlight.
Moonlight becomes you.

Never A Day

2007-03-16T23:10:00.000-07:00

Listening to these sad songs
Never a day goes by
When I don't feel it.

Watching these sad movies
Never a day goes by
Without some tears.

Feeling like this,
Never a day goes by
When I'm not.

Lonely, thats what I have
Thats all I am.

Pain in my chest
Tearful but not crying
Never a day goes by.

Roleplay LOL.

2007-03-14T21:46:00.001-07:00

Name: Amalphiya

Genre: Fantasy (Any sort of fantasy)

Gender: Female

Age: young but not old

Species: Elven with a hint of human ancestry.

Physical Description: Tall like her elven ancestors, skin a bit darker than the fairest elves, almond shaped eyes one emerald coloured the other the colour of the sky. Her hair is long, cascades down her back in silver strands.

Clothing Description: A priestess' robes, handsomely woven with intricate stitching telling the story of her ancestors. She has a heavy cloak over top to protect her in colder weather. Her boots go over her shin and although just a sort of leather to match her light robes they are enchanted to protect her against arrows or shots, and increase her walking speed. She wears many gold ornaments.

Weapon: She was gifted with powers of ice and snow. Flurries come at her command and she can freeze opponents in the spot. She is highly resistant to anything cold. Also very crafty with daggers and bows (elf after all!)

Personality/Past: Soft-spoken and seemingly vulnerable. Very passionate about anything she is interested in. She seems very fragile but is optimistic and quite open minded. She finds it hard to trust people right away so at first she might seem rather snobbish. Her race was a rare clan of Elves, they were hunted by their enemies and murdered. Her baby self was left in a remote human village where she grew up. She is very in tune with nature and fluent in Human and Elvish.

An Audition

2007-03-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

The sun gently caressed her hair, dark turning to light, brown to red. Eyes shining she bent down and carefully picked up the rose. Its vibrant red reflected the passion she had with her today. Placing it into her tote she continued on the dirt path that lay ahead of her.

Where she was going? No one could say, they could merely follow her as the shadows did.

Ryjaya was her name, a bit short, yet slender with dark hair that cascaded down her back and bright gray eyes. She wore a peasant's clothing but her ears proved to be elven. She seemed quite determined, her baggage a small pouch she slinged over her shoulder and a thick velvet cloak she wore loosely.

Stopping, her demeanor a bit less dramatic, she looked around. Carefully she pulled up the velvet cloak she was wearing, the purple enveloped her and she seemed to meld into the shadows. The dirt path had led her to a fork, right or left? She wasn't sure what to decide.

The left path proved most safe, a cheerful path with little to no forest. Fields would surround her and there seemed to be some civilization. And to the right? A dark way, with barely a path to walk on. There was a wild forest with shrubs and legendary trees that could touch the clouds.

Preparing herself she readied the dagger that was hidden inside the folds of her cloak and walked to the right.

Blank Ideas with a sweet beginning?

2007-03-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth slept soundly, her head against the cool wood of her desk. A shadow passed over, a slight tingle down her back and a fast jump, she jerked awake. Groggy, eyes blurred and the bad breath taste in her mouth she looked at the clock. 3:00 it read, and she though to herself, three in the morning!? How could this be, how was it possible? Just seconds ago she was working on her English paper... her big novel assignment that was due -- tomorrow? Tomorrow it was!
Looking down at her desk she cringed as she stared at the empty sheet of paper and a pencil that lay on top of it. There was a title though, "The Sleeping Beauty". Smiling to herself she recalled the tale of the princess that slept a hundred years, doomed to sleep and loneliness. Grandmother used to tell her the tale time and time again, as if it were her own. Or she had lived in the castle with the princess.
Her mouth was dry and reeked of sleep, she needed water. Tying her wavy auburn hair into a loose pony she slipped her feet into slippers and danced over to her door. Drifting into thought she walked down her stairs for a glass of water from the kitchen. Her dreams had been much more vivid this night, a flurry of darkness with bright flashes in between. A familiar forest with wildlife so dear. Roses everywhere, thorns striking her skin. Crimson liquid, seeping from her fingers. A beautiful face, set in stone, forever. The dream screamed forever but nothing else. Forever she would lie. Then the bleeding started and she would wake up frightened.

Fuck You

2007-02-16T21:51:00.000-08:00

Abused & deceived,
just realized
how much
you deserve
a
Fuck you.

Poet

2007-02-15T21:41:00.000-08:00

Its not easy
as you think it is
Time to leave,
pack up.
Go.

Its not the same
as it was before.
Feelings fade,
Good bye.
Love.

[Untitled]

2007-02-08T02:16:00.000-08:00

Here's a preview of a chapter I was working on last summer:

"Her body and mind has had a total shut down; she's still functioning, but her coma is the worst I have seen in my years."

The cold night air bit at her neck, chilling her bare skin. It was close to midnight now and she was nearly home. Two more blocks in her shortcut and home would surround her, enveloping her in its arms, warming and comforting her. But until then she'd have to put up with the moonless night, with the biting North wind and the creeping shadows of the alley.

As she walked steadily, her heels clicking and echoing in the emptiness, another sound joined hers. Two pairs of feet, each shuffling, hushed words and desperation sounded in their voices. Their scent was repulsive, instantly causing her to gag.

Conscious of herself now, she walked faster; behind her in the shadows were the other pair of feet. She could hear them trying to casually catch up with her. Something bad is going to happen to me… her thoughts were negative, her fear a scent the predators caught onto.

They had a chance, she was afraid and weak. They could do anything they wanted to her.

"Heya pretty girl." A gruff, deep voice that rather grumbled than spoke reached out to her. "Want some candy?" His companion laughed heavily at this, and she could feel her muscles shaking in fear. The hot smell of whisky, vomit and blood invaded her senses, making her gag a bit.

"Hey!" the same voice echoed through the alley, "I'm talkin' to ya!" He had impatience in his voice, something she wanted desperately to avoid. An impatient drunk led to a violent and cruel one.

"I… I have to g-get going!" Amazed by her own bravery she started to sprint, almost home! Please, someone! Keep me safe!

"We've got ourselves a runner eh?!" He waved to his friend, and they too started their drunken pursuit for the girl.

"PLEASE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Her runners were pounding against the road, a rhythmic pattern of rush and haste. "Leave you alone!?! Pretty girl we'll leave you alone after we're done with you!" Her muscles were sore but she could just see the light of her residential street. Home would never be sweeter! Almost there! Her escape would be wondrous; she would survive the race with these drunken men and be safe and sound…

Just as she was thinking of safety one of them caught up to her, a rough grip on her arm, a bruising clench. She kept running, just a bit more it seemed! But he pulled her with his strength; she flew right off her feet and landed with a thud on the concrete. As she struggled to get up the man pinned her down, she felt pain from the fall. They'll never touch me! NEVER!

"Look at that, she fell. Guess we'll have to help her, hey!?"

She just stared at them, straight in the eyes; she was full of spite and anger now. Fear no longer coursed through her veins, it was adrenaline and her deep instinct to survive. She writhed and shook, shaking her head, pounding her fists, biting the air; she'd do anything, as long as they wouldn't touch her.

"Hey! STOP IT!" She'd never listen to them though; she'd not stop for them and they weren't to command her! She writhed and wiggled, twisting and thrashing about in their hold.

"STOP HER!" A sweaty, filthy hand covered her mouth and another pushed her head down into the cement, hard. All she could feel was the hard cement, the cool, smooth surface entering her head with a BANG. The back of her head was warm… it felt so warm, and like liquid… blood? She opened her mouth but nothing came out, just one small gasp before darkness enveloped her.